Infidelity is considered to be a major threat to marital dissolution. Although marriage ends due to diverse reasons infidelity is considered to be one of the top reasons. Since, trust is considered to be the foundation of every relationship, surviving a relationship when the foundation gets weak is tough.

It is believed that infidelity increases conflict between the couple and leads to greater conflict. Infidelity forever changes a path of lives. It tends to have a catastrophic effect as it impairs trust, connection and the level of intimacy. The most difficult part comes in when the couple decides to give each other a chance and try to rebuild the relationship for better.

When infidelity hits, not only does the injured party goes through tough times but even the patient himself or herself goes through psychological issues like guilt and loss of self-esteem. Many times infidelity occurs due to lack of compatibility and understanding, ruling the factors that preceded the event should be one of the basic steps. The basic reaction to infidelity is an emotional reaction which may lead to numbness, anger, disgust, shock and defensive avoidance. There may be a situation where an injured partner might just want to repress the feelings and move forward.

Overcoming infidelity is not an easy process and requires both the partners to go through a roller coaster ride. Before starting with the therapy session it is important to assess the extent to which the partners show the desire to improve the relationship and move towards a healing process. It is important to gauge the level of infidelity. The elementary tenet to move forward in a relationship is to help the injured partner make sense of why the affair has occurred and what both of the partners are currently facing in their relationship. The basic aim of the therapist is to help both the partners become self-reliant and should focus on self-care guidelines. De-escalation is basically undertaken on the part of the Counsellor which aims at validating both the partner and building trust.

The only way to protect the relationship is through re-framing and restructuring. It is important not just to focus on the present but also understand the past influence and expectations. Both the positives and negatives of their relationship should be understood. It not only requires cognitive restricting where the whole world of injured partner goes for a toss but also emotional restructuring. Building the foundation strong and understanding the healthy attachment patterns become essential. Past affects us in ways about which we may not be aware of and by understanding why the affair occurred or how injured partner has responded can provide great insight.

Focusing on the forgiveness process is the most crucial aspect. It focuses on 4 main elements of Empathy, Humility, Commitment and apology. Helping partners build relationships on the 4 factors becomes the catalyst for better understanding. Infidelity is one of the tricky problems encountered in the relationships. While aspects can be many, what needs to be addressed is how to keep your relationship undisturbed.  The assessment should gauge upon the attachment patterns, developmental history, how the infidelity was discovered, individual features and whether an individual wants to continue with the relationship or not. The treatment for insufficiency lies in doing away with the root problem.

Most of the marriage is affected by infidelity. Sometimes despite too much damage the couple still wants to work on their relationship or both partners aren’t interested in continuing the relationship. As painful as it may be, it is important to acknowledge when this is the case. Seeking help from a marriage counsellor or relationship expert becomes essential in such a scenario. With the help of a professional marriage counsellor, you can be committed to rebuild your marriage and bring back the honesty, depth and intimacy.

Dr Nisha Khanna as a Relationship/Marriage Counsellor proffers online, telephonically and face to face Counselling Services. If you are living in Delhi, India or any other part of World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9312730331