High school sweethearts Arti (35) and Karan (36) completed their graduation together and decided to tie the knot soon after. Everything was falling into place, their compatibility matched, they both had the same educational background, their families had no problems with this relationship, and both were well. Most of all, they were in love with each other. Karan was head over heels for Arti throughout their college life. The kind of love she only dreamt of.

Karan and Arti did their degree in Business Management; Karan’s entire family was also into business. Arti was always more career-oriented and ambitious compared to Karan, who was more of a family-oriented person. He was naturally sensitive, had an aggressive personality with poor decision-making skills, and was full of the male ego. He sometimes experienced an inferiority complex in their relationship as Arti was blooming on the career front. After their marriage, they gave an exam to get a higher qualification in which Arti scored well, but Karan did not clear the exam, which resulted in her being at a higher post at work than him. Arti can be described as a confident, ambitious and practical woman with excellent skills to balance her work and life. Unlike Karan, she was avoidant by nature. He felt like she had focused more on her career and less on him and his family.

After three years of marriage, they had their first child, a baby girl. In the first year, Arti and Karan managed her co-parenting wonderfully. After one year, Arti wanted to get back to her work. They had several arguments on this topic but later concluded that Arti could manage both. Karan’s parents supported their decision entirely and even took care of their daughter for them. Slowly and gradually, Karan started feeling neglected as Arti was mainly busy at work, and whatever little time she had at home, she would spend it with their daughter. They started arguing a lot, and Karan started feeling as if Arti was responsible for all the mess in their relationship, as she had become highly self-centred and individualistic, according to him. Both of them started growing apart. For Karan, Arti was his whole life, but for her, he was just a part of her life.

Seeing the couple like this, the mother-in-law felt terrible for her son and started taunting Arti. There used to be daily arguments between the families; their home environment was becoming very harmful. Karan was already a bit introverted, which had increased more, and he and his parents started sarcastically commenting on everything Arti did. Arti started feeling disrespected in the house she had been living for years.

The couple then decided to visit us to get couple counselling for the sake of their child and whatever little was left in their marriage. As the sessions went by, we also learned that in a few instances, while fighting, Karan had hit Arti as well. It was noted that sometimes in sessions, Karan got aggressive too and wanted to raise his hand at Arti. Arti felt she was doing her best to maintain a work-life balance and did not deserve all this.,

Seeing their complex relationship, Dr Nisha Khanna suggested Karan draw a line between his life and her life; she told me to indulge in hobbies he liked and separate his life from her for a while. She encouraged him to be more involved in his social life without Arti. Karan said he’d try first but then later refused. Frustration, anger and misbehaviour kept increasing. Even their daughter was not happy seeing all this. With sessions and a decision made by themselves, they decided to get separated for each other, their daughter and their family’s betterment. Both of them now have shared custody of their daughter; Arti moved on and has a new husband now and Karan, as usual, stopped therapy n still struggling to live happily.

Dr Nisha Khanna as a Couple Counsellor/Marriage Counsellor, proffers online, telephonically and face-to-face Counselling Services. If you live in Delhi, India or any other part of the World, you can approach us through any of these mediums. For further details, visit Bye Tense, or call us at +91-9818211474